...

i did not have a great week. i was in an angry mode and not at its finest. hahaha. and the weekend is not even great at all. i don't know. i just really feel bad. i feel like i've lost my self-respect and that i want to kill myself. for the first time in my life i contemplated on killing myself. i never entertained suicide coz i was afraid of hell. but now, i don't know. what happened? nothing really. i just feel so bad. i did not do anything really bad, it's just that i feel like everything is going downhill. everyday, i send morning prayers to my friends. those morning prayers are really applicable to me. but you know what? it's like i don't feel the power of prayer. sorry Papa God.

and what am i blabbing about? i don't know. haay... ang labo ko talaga. can i ask a favor? can you pray for me? thank you...

challenging meme

got this from snglguy. i found it challenging because if there's anyone who's gonna respond to this, it's gonna be a challenge to think of the answers. hehe. here's how it is...

If you comment on this post, I will…

1. respond with something random about you.

2. challenge you to try something.

3. pick a color that I associate with you.

4. tell you something I like about you.

5. tell you my first/clearest memory of you.

6. tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.

8. pick a song that reminds me of you.

After I respond to the above mentioned 8 points in this blog, you will have to post the same meme, and my response, on your blog.

so, now i have to respond to snglguy's response.

Tin-tin> Oh, the food lover. Hehe, ok here goes…

Random: You impress me as someone who’s spiritual and yet at the same time, a rebel.

weird! coz i think that's the perfect description for me. friends who are really close to me and knows my story would know what i mean.

Challenge: I challenge you to try to be closer to your Dad.

hmmm... looks easy. hahaha. i'm trying to be close to him now. i just helped him the other day to fix our printer. hahaha

Color: Errr, Pink? You seem like a Pink loving kinda gurl…

actually, i just started loving pink recently. and you know what? for this week, pink is my color. my clothes should be pink or close to the shade of pink. hehe

Like: I like that you can be honest about yourself and it shows in your writings.

wow! thank you! :)

Memory: Uhhh, the best memory about you that I can think of? Err, that nice and uplifting comment you made in one of my post.

ummm... really? i did? what was my comment. sorry. i have a short term memory gap. hehe

Animal: A Pussycat. You can purr but at the same time have sharp claws.

i don't like cats pa naman. but i like your description. hahaha

Question: Who was the “inspiration” guy that you wrote in one of your entry?

wow! now i'm amazed with your memory. you still remember that? hehehe. he is an officemate that had been an inspiration. nothing more :)

Song: Hmmm, I think it would be Bette Midler’s “From a Distance”.

from a distance?? isn't this song about wars? hehehehe

there you go! any challengers? hehehe :)

drug test

last night, my brother gave my mom a note from school. the school is going to perform a drug-test to all its highschool students, just like what they did last year. my brother is in junior now, so that means, last year when he was srtill in 2nd year high, he had that kind of test. he confirmed that he had one last year. of course, there's no positive substance found in his body.

but i was just shocked to learn that they're performing this kind of test now to highschool students. i just encountered that when i was already applying for work. is drugs really that widely used that even kids use it? i'm just shocked to hear that kids of my brother's age use drugs, get someone pregnant, etc. maybe because i still see my brother as a little boy even if he's already 16 years old. could it be because i'm 10 years older than him?

blogging

i want to post something but i can't really think of a topic. so i just decided to post about the good things i get from blogging, particularly from reading blogs...

first, i get to be updated with the stories of my friends who i have not seen for a very long time like duke, carme and lanee. and those i don't see often like elaine and julie. and for those i see often, their blogs would always be the start of conversation, like ate jopay and kuya marvin?

i've also learned a lot of stuff. like jimmy choo, popularity of pinoy telenovelas in cambodia, the love united video, the comment whore, nice restaurants, that john the baptist is known as st. hans, great movie picks, mrs. world 2006 fiasco, blogssary, news on inq7 (hehehe), brandon routh in the christina aguilera mtv, and a blog template experiment (where i was not successful).

and i just love the personal stories of these fabulous and fantastic people: mai, duke, mai, neko, jhed, carey, melai, yuri, and jase!

sarap kumain!

can't think of an appropriate english title. hehe. i love to eat. so now you know why i'm chubby. i love exploring the restaurants of metro manila and elsewhere. i know my talent is in cooking that's why i love to try out food. and a good bonding moment with your friends is when you have coffee/lunch/dinner with them. here are some pictures of my eating escapades. hehe.




takaw talaga noh? :)

Freaky Tech and Savior

it's like technology hates me...

last night a friend sent his picture to my phone thru mms. i can't open it at first so i asked him to send it again. he sent it, but i managed to open it only after an hour. and when i opened it, it was my cousin!!!! i was surprised. told him about it, and resent the picture to him. he texted me saying that it is his picture. no way! the picture that i received was my cousin. and when i showed my family the picture, they all said the same thing, "it's julie!" (my cousin). my cousin is now living in the USA and as soon as i saw the picture, i said a prayer for her coz it really freaked me out.

then this morning, my friend Gwadz who is in the USA now called me up. she asked me if i receive her emails. i don't. and she doesn't receive my emails. it's just so weird. coz both of us had already sent emails before. and now that she's far, we don't receive it.

on a different topic. i've already seen superman returns! superman told lois lane that eveyone needs a savior. it made me think. who is my savior? then it occured to me, it's Jesus! and my guardian angel. the story.. my friend and i rode a cab on the way home. and because the driver is not friendly and i was not in the mood to be friendly also. i just told my friend to drop me off at quezon ave., and i'll just take another cab from there. there were no commuters in the place, and i was really afraid. so, i really prayed to Jesus and of course my guardian angel. i really believe in guardian angels. and i arrived home safe and sound :)

how about you? who is your savior?

Post-Honeymoon

after posting about honeymoon suggestions, now it's about babies!!!

i'm just happy for two of my close friends. they found out yesterday that the wife is pregnant. yipee!!! after 1 year of waiting. i don't know if they have thought of a name for their baby. basta ako, i already have names for my babies. excited! hahaha. if it's a boy, he's gonna be named Kyle Vincent. but i'm still thinking if about kyle, but the vincent will really be there. i just love saying the vincent. hehehe. and if it's a girl, she's Samantha. her nickname will be Sam.

what about you? what will you name your baby?

honeymoon

my cousin who's getting married this january texted me yesterday asking where will be a great honeymoon place but is not expensive. i replied maybe el nido, palawan. and my dream honeymoon is really amanpulo, so for me it's the perfect destination. hehehe. i just told him to pray that someone would give them a vacation in palawan as a gift. my dad suggested a newly-opened resort in panglao, bohol. my cousin didn't reply but i don't think he'll agree to that. it's bohol, it's where our dads are from. we practically grew up there (though we just go there every summer and Christmas breaks). it can't be boracay coz the girl is from roxas city and they are like going there every year.

out of the country? singapore? i don't think singapore nor hongkong is a honeymoon site.

well, it really kept me thinking of where would be a nice but affordable honeymoon place would be. (parang i'll get married soon ha. hehehe). any suggestion?

disappointing

i'm a very disorganized person. my stuff found anywhere. even my money is just kept anywhere in our house. really disorganized. hmm, now i wonder why they keep on asking me to organize a get-together. even my desk in the office is topsy-turvy. hahaha. no kidding. in tagalog, i'm burara.

the story.. i was handling an account before which was transferred to another division. i gave the documents to the other division, but my mistake was i did not have any transmittal letter or anything. i just gave the papers, and that was like last year. yesterday, they would be having a meeting regarding that account and they asked me for the document. i was like, i already transferred it to you. they cannot find it. we cannot trace it. they were asking me who i gave it to, but with my memory being like Dory of Finding Nemo, sorry. i really can't recall to who but i'm sure i have turned it over and it's not in my files anymore. until this morning, i was really worried. then finally! we found it. it's with them, and i nearly cried when i found it. relief! whew!

why was i worried? well, it's not really because i've lost something but because i hate to disappoint my two superiors (A. France and A. Elsie). i even texted them last night (at around 10pm) saying sorry for what happened. i hate disappointing people. i'm more worried of disappointing them than making them mad at me. these are two different things.

in my previous job, i was really doing my best not because i was afraid that my boss (either Sir JP or Ma'am Sally) will get mad at me but because i was afraid that i might disappoint them. these two people really believed in me, and i hate to make them think they're wrong about that. once, the VP of my present department reprimanded me and i really cried. reason? it's like i disappointed him, and the worst part is it was not my fault. in my present job, it's him i would not like to get disappointed. why? because as my two former supervisors believed in me, he also does. diba boss? hahaha. i somehow lack self-confidence and these three plus A. france and A. Elsie, helps me gain self-confidence. and i thank God for each of them.

why did i write this post? para makabawi kay A. France and A. Elsie coz i know A. France reads my blog once in a while. hehehe.

movie character

yesterday we've caught in star movies legally blonde2 starring reese witherspoon. and as the movie progresses, i told my sister if there's a movie characted that can desribe her most, it would be elle woods. just like elle woods, with the physical appearance people might think that she's a kikay party girl who's shallow, conceited, bitchy and just doesn't care about the world. but they're wrong. if you'll be fortunate to know her, you'll learn that she's full of depth. intelligent and smart. though bitchy at times, she can also be the most kind-hearted person in the world. i think even more kind-hearted than i am. and really care about the world and other people. and could definitely make a difference in the world.


me? my friends compared me to the characters of julia roberts and drew barrymore in their romantic flicks. a hopeless romantic who's full of bloopers in life. waiting for mr. right and believing he'll arrive in perfect time. (Mai, maybe i just heard the wrong calling before. hehe)

how about you? which movie character describes you the best?

walking away

i was totally pissed off yesterday afternoon. i don't want to get into details anymore. when i am irritated, pissed off, angry or whatever, i would like to get far away as much as possible. yesterday, i was thinking where i would go and eureka! CEBU! i'll go to cebu the very next day! why cebu? i don't know. i heard there's a promo so i called up PAL really excited. but sad to say, it would still cost me P4,000.00 so, frowning again, i hang up the phone. tried calling up cebu pacific but i cannot contact them.

so i texted my friends if they would like to go to puerto galera or corregidor with me the next day. but of course since it's an abrupt invite and it's not for free, nobody said yes :(

i just went home early from work and saw my mom who's going to hear mass. told her that i'll just go with her. after mass, i told my mom that i'll just walk home. i didn't go straight home but walked to the next nearest church. spent around 15minutes there and walked home. honestly, the walk and the church visit did me well. i am okasy now. i'm just at home not excited to leave anymore and spend much to release anger. hehehe. well, that's me just walking away...

My Dear Siblings

right now the wallpaper of my cellphone is a picture of me and my siblings. everyone who would see it would tell me that we do not look like each other. but when i tell them that i somehow looked like my brother, they would say, yeah you kinda look alike. well, it's because we both are like my dad and my sister really looks like my mom. and if you look at the three of us, you won't expect that we're siblings. especially me and my sister because we're totally different. if you don't know us, you wouldn't even think that we're two people who would hang out together. but even if we're all different, we love each other so much. naks! especially our baby(?) brother. and my brother really would take care of us her ates.

here's a picture of us three as seen in my phone. and guess who's older, me or my sister.

tin-tin,eric,yan-yan

Inlove?

no. i'm just inspired.

have i finally found him? honestly, i don't know. it may be or may be not him, but i just thank God (almost) everyday for the kilig moments that i have with him.

i just want to post something but can't think of anything to write about. i'm just happy now.

ummm.. to all the filipino readers, what's the english term for kilig?

Four Toe

got tagged by Toe. revenge time. hehe.

Four jobs I would really stink at:

1. Housekeeper - I am not an organized person. my things are always a mess.
2. Laundrywoman
3. Call center - i don't think i'll last in a job where i'll only be sitting down for eight hours
4. Pest control employee - it's not the cockroach who will leave the place but i will

Four pretend monikers I’ll never live up to:

1. Sexy - it was the name of our first dog
2. Diva - as if!
3. Miss Popular - i'm not popular. i'm just friendly
4. Miss Kikay - still can't believe it when others call me kikay or maarte. because my sister, mom and most friends would call me plain and simple

Four movies I will NEVER watch again, ever:

1. Tagalog lovestories - baduy na kung baduy! but tried to watch some of these films and promise it just made me sick. but in fairness, there are other tagalog films that are worth watching
2. Mission Impossible - i can't understand the story. but i like MI3
3. Joe's Apartment - puhlease! the stars of that film?!! yuck!
4. i forgot the title but it's also about roaches and i just slept during the entire film coz i don't want to open my eyes and watch

Four places that I would NEVER live in:

1. Alaska or the Antarctic and other freezing places - have to copy this.
2. Somalia
3. Ilocos or Cagayan - i'm sorry but i'm not really a north person
4. war zone countries

Four things I HATE to do on my weekends:

1. travel on a rainy day. sorry i just hate rain
2. arrange/clean my stuff
3. finish officework
4. visit a doctor for a check-up

Four TV shows I used to geek out to:

1. Bioman - Sorry Yuri. but i'm Pink5! hahaha. i have karate class at the same time. and my sister and i would pretend sick so we don't have to take classes and just watch bioman. hehehe
2. Perfect Strangers - we just used to laugh really hard with their jokes. hehe
3. Nickelodeon - particularly Finder's Keepers and Double Dare
4. Karate Kat - i forgot the title of the show. it's like a cartoon strip or something with Thundercats for Mondays (?), and Karate Kat on Wednesdays. and i also like their show on Fridays but i forgot the title

Four cigarette (or liquor) brands I’ve tried and enjoyed:

1. any cocktail drinks. hahaha

Four things I CAN live without:

1. Cigarettes - sorry but i hate the smell of lit cigarettes.
2. Cockroach!!! - should i say more
3. Beer - i get drunk easily when i drink beer. and i don't like it's taste
4. well, it's just really cockroaches

Four of my favorite cholesterol laden foods:

1. Pizza!! - it's just my weakness
2. Proven - it's a streetfood that i can only buy in LB. it's like hotshots of kfc
3. Sisig
4. Chocolates

Four places I would rather be in right NOW (if I had the money that is):

1. Bora bora or Amanpulo
2. California - to visit my college barkada
3. Cambodia - my sister and i are pestering my dad to treat us a trip to Cambodia
4. Anywhere as long as i'm with ... - sorry can't say his name coz some of the readers know him. hehe.

i had fun answering it but also had a hard time writing stuff that i don't like. hehe. sorry, but i'll tag Neko. so you'll have something to post :)

Subic Virgin's Dream Coming True on a Special Father's Day

the title really described my weekend. it was my frist time to go to Subic. pathetic and unbelievable, i know. and i really had a blast. as my mom said, after a long time our family went out of town once again (we don't count cebu and bohol trips). and by family i mean the five of us complete (father, mother, brother, sister..how do you brush your teeth. hehe). it had been a memorable weekend also. why?

1. first time in subic. should i say more?

2. i jammed with the resort's band. and really sang my heart out. it was a dream come true. for those who haven't heard me sing. well, just be thankful that you haven't heard me yet. as they say, it's all about the guts and stage presence and not the voice. hahaha. trust me!

3. i made lambing to my dad. this is the biggest deal i guess. here's the story. since it's my first time to go to Subic, i wanted to go to the Zoobic Safari. since it's late already and somehow expensive if my dad would be the only one to pay for all 5 of us, my mom said that we shouldn't go. as we were in the Butterfly Garden, i went to my dad, rubbed his big belly and said: "Pa, Zoobic Safari." afterwards, my sister asked where will we go next. without missing a beat, my dad answered: "Zoobic Safari. khet kayong tatlo lang." (Zoobic Safari, even it'll only be the three of you) meaning us children. they were all shocked and i was like, ha! my dad misses me!

this is a big deal, because as much as possible i stay away from my dad. but four years ago, i am a Papa's Girl. something happened, i don't talk to him until last year. but still i don't touch him. during mass, i don't kiss him but bless. because i don't want to really touch him. that's why it's really a big deal. after four years, ngayon lang ulit ako naglambing.

i really had fun last weekend with my family. wait! if my memory serves me right, my sister and mom didn't have a fight last weekend. and everyone was just laughing and really having a good time. well, except for my brother who kinda got drunk. hehe. love you eric!

also, i would like to commend the staff of White Rock Resort, they are really accommodating and courteous. they really made everyone's stay enjoyable and at home.

i am sure the Father's Day this year had been extra meaningful to my dad and the whole family. even if he spent a lot. he didn't care coz i'm sure for the first time again, he felt how it is to be my dad again.

pretty tin = nun???

my friend and i were having a fun time taking pictures in the last Singles Encounter in Los Baños last weekend. i told her to take my picture infront of the altar ala first holy communion. seeing me posing a friend suddenly remarked: "it's a prophecy of you being a nun!" i was like WHAT?!?!? no way! she was like, you really are going to be a nun. the day after, we had a ministering with the candidates. as they say, usually the ones you minister would usually be of the same nature of problem or experience with you. and one of the candidates i minister said that she has a calling to be a nun. i asked if she wants to be one. she told me that we are from God and that's all she can repay Him. i was like.. okay...

short background. i was invited two months ago in a search-in, to determine my calling.. if i'm for married life, single-blessedness or religious life. i was worried the whole time because i am afraid that maybe i am not for married life. we were asked to pray out loud individually. and my prayer as something like telling God to help me readily accept what He wants for me.

and after the weekend, i am really worried. what if i'm for religious life? waaah! can i take it? will i last long there? honestly, when we toured the convent, i know i can;t last there. it was so quiet. i can't pray long. and honestly, the first thing i noticed are their clothes. even if they can wear just shirt and jeans, it's like i can't take their clothing. waaah!!! and am i really fit to be a nun?

*thanks to jopay for taking the picture :)

Dreams

"Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or created by another. They accumulate experiences, memories, things than they could possibly cope with. That’s why they forget their dreams." -- Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

from the same author as The Alchemist, wherein i got the line "When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream." which had been the inspiration for my very first entry in this blog. and i felt that the line is not true in my life. but when i read the line from The Zahir, it said everything i feel.

i'm not the type of person who has everything planned out in her life. i'm the as anything goes type of person. but as everyone else here, i had dreams when i was a child. so, i studied, etc., etc.. but then circumstances happen. i accumulated experiences, and then i'm here now. far from my dream(s). it's like i'm following another plan. honestly, i have forgotten about my dream. and i just recalled about it only a month ago.

i'm not in a senti mode right now. it just made me assessed my life. but still i did not assess it, coz i am afreaid. i may not get favorable results.

Rustans Makati

bought a new pair of sandals yesterday in Rustans Makati. and as i was to pay my sandals, i asked first if they still accept Gentxt for discounts. the cashier for U was just new since they rotate every month, and she has no idea because it Gentxt is only available for U costumers. a very nice saleslady (Eds), said that she thinks that the promo can still be availed and really looked for and called up a former U cashier at another floor. as i was saying my thanks, Eds told me: "sayang din po kse yung discount." which is absolutely true. and now that i need cash, the discount really helps. i was really amazed at how wonderful these people are. the service that they give their customers. bow ako.

while the fuss was going on, i texted my sister bout the incident. and she texted back: "that why i do my impulsive buying in rustans. not only good quality but also good service." i just told my sister: "from now on, i'll do my impulsive buying here na din." duh! as if i'm really an impulsive buyer. hehehe.

but really. now, when i do my shopping, i'll first check rustans before going to other stores.

Yes Lord!

yesterday before the mass began, a clergy approached my mom and asked if our family could be the offerors for that mass. my mom said no. i told her, say yes! don't say no. good thing the clergy was not far yet and my mom changed her answer. so, for the first time (i guess) our family (complete, that is, including my dad) offered during the mass yesterday.

after mass, i told my mom that one thing i learned from BLD Youth (as also seconded by my brother) is obedience to God. that if God asked you to serve Him (of course through other people), just say Yes. even if it is somewhat impossible, say Yes because God will make a way.

obedience to God is not easy. i've been guilty of not following Him at times. i was not punished but i guess maybe it would be better if i just followed Him before.

pretty tin

as i was bloghopping, i encountered a post where the girl asked if she really is ugly. saying that only her parents and relatives said that she is beautiful. and it's not counted since they have no choice and as the saying goes: 'a face only a mother can love' i commented that at least her parents told her she was beautiful.

my parents are weird. i think they're the only parents who would say that their child is ugly. when i was in college, a highschool friend invited me to go to Boracay. we were there for four days. since it's our first time to be there, we really tanned ourselves. no make it burned ourselves in the sun. when i returned to manila, and my saw me, she commented: "ang pangit mo" (you're ugly). that's why after that, when i go to the beach, i don't really enjoy the sun because i became conscious not to havr some tan or else my mom would tell me that am ugly again. two months ago, my mom saw my 6th grade crush with his girlfriend. my mom told my sister about it and when my sister asked who's prettier, i am or the girl, my mom answered the girl. when my sister told her she's bad, my mom defended herself by saying that it's because the girl is more mestiza than i am. and when my dad saw my ex with a new girl in robinson's place last month and my sister again asked the question of who's prettier, my dad replied that it's also the girl. and when my sister once again confronted him about it, he tried to defend himself by saying that it's because i am bigger than the girl. i've confronted my dad, and he uses the same defense. i told him he was asked who is prettier not sexier. a girl can be big but still pretty. we're talking about the face and not the body.

see! i told you i have weird parents. and even if my face is not loved by mom (coz i unfortunately look like my dad), i am still happy with my face. no joke! i still consider myself as pretty. and i know i am blessed. because even with a (pretty? hehe) face like this, i know that a lot of people still loves me.