MassKara Festival

i'm afraid of clowns. they're scary. also of people in masks. they're also scary, right? but there's one thing i want to experience despite my fears. it's to witness the MassKara Festival in Bacolod. so why this one when i'm afraid of masks? weird as it may sound but i'm not afraid of the those in masks that i see in pictures, magazines, etc. i even find them fascinating. i guess it's because they are colorful and the designs are good. and maybe by witnessing the festival in person, i can overcome my fear.

also, mark10 was assigned once to present bacolod in the xmas party. so the kids made their own masks. and if you've seen the masks that they made, you wouldn't think that it was made by kids. since then, the MassKara Festival held a special place in my heart and now i've wanted to experience it for real.

what's more, if i go to the festival, then that means i'll get to go to bacolod? what's wonderful in bacolod? the food! i've always seen in tv how good their food is, let me try it. and also to see the wonderful people on bacolod, friends and not.

So guys, experience MassKara Festival, Hermosa Festival and Lanzones Festivalthis October. AirPhil Express flies daily to BACOLOD, ZAMBOANGA, and CAGAYAN DE ORO from Cebu and Manila. Visit www.airphilexpress.com to book.

Sing Me Your Song Again..

i don't know what's with this week but i really miss papa so much this week. death is truly another thing than being separated. coz before, even if we don't talk, i know he was just there. that it will just be a phase. and i was right. but now, it's death. it's like it's over.

i have to admit, i still have not really accepted his death. when i pray for him on my own, most of the time my next lines would be.. "Lord, serious? he's really dead?" then i would think that maybe we killed him more having him cremated, coz it's like since he is cremated, he won't have a chance to rise again, incase it was a mistake that he died. and this is coming from me who saw him die. hehe.

and then i got to listen to Jose Mari Chan's Sing Me Your Song Again Daddy. which made me miss him more. and of course this made me cry. coz last yr (or was it two years ago?), meyms mentioned that song and i listened to it, and i already cried. and that was a time he was still alive and death is far from our minds. so what more now, that he is not here. that song is a special song. why? coz it was literally my song for him when i was still a kid. i think he knows it. so, it makes it sad for me.

for those who don't know the song, here it is..

I Want to Understand

before the year 2009 ended, i had a plan for the beginning of 2010. but as i mentioned before, 2009 was a year of rejection for me. that meant my plans for 2010 was not able to push thru. yes, i admit, it saddened me. and my sister was really affected (which touched me). i replaced that plan with something else. a first-time for me, something i enjoyed also. but still it was different. until now, i still can't understand why it happened. i still want to know why. why God chose a different plan. this year, when i hear that that plan of mine is happening to other people.. of course i'm happy for them but still my heart feels a little hurt. i'm not sure if i'm obvious but one time when someone announced it to me and my sister, my sister asked me afterwards if my heart stopped when i heard about it. fine, i admit. i am bitter. why won't i be? i wanted it so bad. and it was really disheartening since i did it honestly. yes, another reason why i was so bitter. and it's like it is happening to everyone except me, and i wanted it more than them. it was something i was planning for. i should not really plan. sigh

Link of the Moment: I Hear the Fish

i accidentally found this video and i've seen it a number of times already. but even until now, i can still feel the kid's crying. huhuhu. poor kid but he is so cute. i wonder if he eats fish now or did he turn vegetarian?

realizations

my father convinced me to study in uplb so that i would learn to be independent. after 4 years, i don't think i achieved what my father meant as independent.

but last january, for only a month, i think i got what he meant by independence. being in a very far away place, i have to do some work that i do not do at home. i think this was what papa meant.

in that one month time, i have realized a lot. from what i cannot live without (someone should do my laundry, hehe); the importance of milk to my skin (also how i can slim down coz i don't drink milk); why i still don't have any kids (though my kids would really be different from my "daughters" that's for sure); my relationship with my family esp my father; how city-girl i am; how spoiled i am; and a lot more.

yes, i've learned all that about myself for only a month. i wonder what lessons will the rest of the year bring me

I Am Old?!

mark10 kids are really young (umm.. kids?), and even if they are really really young, i never felt old with them. actually, i don't feel old until last month an essay about a barbershop was written by jason (already a middleschool student and not from mark10). here's our conversation:

tin: it was opened 1990? then it's not old
jason: it is old
tin: it's 1990! it's not old!
jason: yes, it is. it was opened before i was born.
tin: when were you born?
jason: 1996
(realization hit me: "oh my! i am old." i dont' know why, but still i asked..)
jason: umm.. older
obama (interrupting): grandmother

note: they both know my real age. i know i'm not old yet to be a grandmother, but still after this conversation, i really felt old.

My Number One Reader

i lost a reader last year. though he always denied that he reads my blog, i know he did. how? 1) he would ask me questions that i haven't mentioned nto him or anyone except my blog; 2) when i looked at the monitor screen one time, he tried to look at another window but i can see the minimized window below; 3) my blog's url is listed in his phone

so why was he reading my blog? either he is interested in my life, or he is trying to see if i have written something about him again. well, i can't blame him. i think more than half of the time, i have mentioned him in my entries. i think he is the one person i have mentioned most here. we even fought once because of something he has read in my blog that has really hurt him.

so as my honor to him, i will write once in a while about him. and i guess, i should add another tag/label that is about him. i would not write about him just because he is an avid reader of my blog (feeler! hahaha), but i guess that's my way to remind the world about him. i know our relationship was damaged before and was not restored back to it's original state but i don't think he should be forgotten. he had been my pillar for 20 years, and even afterwards (but not as much). and because of him, i have proven the saying: the more you hate, the more you love. because even if i hated him so much before, i still loved him so much that's why it was really painful. nope, he never apologized to me but forgiveness is still something i am trying to give him. yes, i cannot say i have truly forgiven him coz even after his death, there are still instances i would learn that would hurt me as his daughter, but one thing for sure, i love him. and i am thankful that he is my father.

2010

let me sing first: "2010 big bang.. uh-huh.. it goes.."

2010 is an unforgettable year. lots of things happened this year that don't happen regularly. good and sad things happen but comparing to 2009, i like 2010 more. yes, even if i lost papa this year, i still don;t consider 2010 a bad year. so what's different with 2010? let me count the ways:

1. i traveled all by myself. well, it still seems like not travelling on my own coz it is just like i went to makati and met with friends. everyday i had lunch and dinner dates with friends. my time alone was only 2 hours a day. hahaha. but that travel really made me feel blessed with friends. thank you my dear friends.

2. i DJ-ed online. it was a fun experience. will try to do it more often next year. hehe.

3. had a lunchdate with Papa on a weekday. of course, it won't happen again. but it was really memorable for me coz Papa was the only one i had a lunchdate on a work day. i don't meet friends during lunchtime when i'm at work.

4. first time to travel with my sister and friends at the same time. and got to explore the streets on my own looking for a church and hearing mass all by myself even if i don't understand a word said. hehehe. also it's possible to still be able to fly even if you leave 5pm from qc and your flight is at 7pm. hahaha.

5. attended youth camp for the first time. i may be the oldest participant but still i had lots of fun. and this year, somehow i am like a part of the youth ministry again. and became participative with bld activities

6. resigned from work even if i still don't have a work. and til now i still don't have a fulltime work, but i don't regret my decision. it was like Papa God was arranging everything for me.

7. first time to travel to tagaytay just by commuting and all by myself

8. becoming a tutor

9. this year my sister met most of my friends

10. i didn't attend any weddings. if last year i had been so active in weddings as part of entourage or mass. this year, i only got invited once (as a guest) and i was not able to attend

11. papa passed away. but am happy that i got spend time with him in the hospital even if all we did was fight. hehehe.

12. super backache. as in i can't stand. i don't want to experience that again

(edit: added 13 & 14)

13. for the first time in my 30 years of existence, i didn't go to the beach this year

14. my bday was great, full of surprises. received video greetings from friends (i really love it). received a special cake delivery. started my bday week with a korean dinner and ended my bday with a korean dinner + noraebang

after writing the above, i realized that most of the things that are memorable to me are good things. that is why i know i am blessed. but it was not only good or fun memories for 2010, there also had been those that really made me down. and having an outlet really helped me keep my sanity. that is why i am thankful for my online outlet. and to all those who read my everyday rants, raves, spazzings, thank you! thank you! thank you for your patience.

i may not have been to a new place this year, nor went to the beach (first time after 30 years), i am sure 2011 would bring me more fun adventure and new places to explore.

i am still thankful for 2010. and i am now claiming that 2011 would be a wonderful and really blessed year for me, for all of us :)

Timing

if you guys still didn't know, i do not have a job now. why? coz i resigned from my job effective sept. 1. and yes, i did resign even if i still do not have another work waiting for me. my original plan is to rest for one month and start working again in october. but that didn't happen. still no work when september ended. but you know what? everything worked for a reason. papa gad been hospitalized and then died, and i was always in the hospital and the wake. so my october is basically for papa. a week after the cremation, i got backpain. as in total backpain that i can't move. it started tuesday and i just rested for the whole week. week after is my birthweek so enjoy week for me. hehe. but starting this week and the following weeks, i don't know already. but i trust in God's plan and His perfect timing. i am sure He won't abandon me. and He is there helping me arrange my life. thank You Papa God.

Closure

This is my brother's eulogy for my papa. i entitled it Closure coz after his speech, everyone who heard it kept on telling me that finally eric had closure.

thank you to family and friends who had been with us not only during the wake but also two weeks ago when he was admitted to the hospital. you truly are blessings to us. will write a post about my dad soon.

Ric is the nickname that his loved ones used to call him.

Each and every day, they would all smile and laugh with him.

Cherished to Elizabeth Racho, his only chick,

To his kids also: TIntin and Yanyan and Eric.

Oh, they had a wonderful and fantabulous life.

Then Recto committed something that is very wrong.

Adultery was what he did and actually longed.

“Betrayed! Why have you done this?” His family queried.

And he said, “It just happened.” Did he want to be freed?

Ringing and then thundering in his family’s ears

Are pain, hatred and other emotions which bring tears.

None of these, however, could really bring back our dad.

Zoned away from his family because of his bad,

Away he set off, with his family’s relatives.

Recto was a man who thought with logic and freely.

And even though he had done this to his family,

Cherished Beth, TIntin, Yanyan and Eric still love him.

How they wish, again, to kiss him and to embrace him.

Oh, because they all had a wonderful life with him.

It’s true that he is not the perfect and best father.

Sure, there are those who do not leave their children’s mother,

And those who’ll choose their family over another.

God, however, has given Ric to my family.

Regardless of all his faults, he still loved us deeply.

Even until his death, we all still took care of him.

And it’s because we love him, and not due to some whim.

This, even, can’t fully express our love for Papa.

Finally, he taught us what a true family is.

And on his bed, he gave effort to give us a kiss.

Teaching us to be independent or on our own,

He taught us to be faithful and to reap what we’ve sown.

Especially now, may Papa be with Our Father.

Recto Tabaranza Racho is a great father.

Link of the Moment: Let's Dance to this Song

i'm going to share a music video below. what makes the music video special? well, it gave me inspiration. how? the star in the mv is kev jumba (he's in amazing race now with his dad). and if you have heard him sing.. you'll be surprised that he has a mv. iyaz told him in his face that he doesn't want to sing with him coz he can't sing. trust me, he really can't. and also, see how philip wang dances in the video. another reason for me to be inspired. hahaha.

if you're not aware of it, i have the best singing voice in town. and i can dance so well, that i would win first place if i join contests. okay, in all honesty, i am honest. bwahaha. for the first time i'm going to hell. hahaha.

that's why this mv gave me hope that i can have my own mv in the future. this mv is part of the funemployed webseries that is a funny series in youtube. and also, my sister and i would somehow get a last-song syndrome when we hear this. and the lyrics of the song is really true. the most cliche pop song. hahaha.

hope you'll also enjoy the video. wait! i don't need to be a youtube star to have my own mv, right?

Link of the Moment: Kpop Dances

when people saw me last week, i heard several comments that i'm slimming down. and all i can think of is.. "wow, digital bounce is effective." what is digital bounce? my exercise. hehe. it's a song by se7en. i dance to it, i (try to) follow the choreography. hehe. it's a cool choreo, even my brother likes it. he hates kpop, but the choreo for this song passed. hehe.

here's the vid and you'll know how great the choreo is...



dancing to kpop had been my form of exercise since late last year. i don't know why but ring ding dong had been my official dance. when they hear ring ding dong, they would remember me. and my mom's ringtone for me is even ring ding dong. hahaha. i haven't really said goodbye to this song, i still dance it (almost) everyday. but i dance to digital bounce more now. i really don't know why i chose this dance/song from all the dances/songs out there, maybe you'll know?

What's Up?

i have been active in other sites, hahaha. updating my status every hour(?). anyway, just want to share some of my status for the past week so you'll know also what's up with me.

- yipee! several ppl are telling me that i have slimmed down. i guess digital bounce is effective :)

- i'm really inlove with kenshin of samurai x. hihi ;p

- if 2009 had been a year of disapointments, 2010 is a cheerful year :)

- weee! I passed the exams. Thank You Papa God. ok,let's wait for the next step

- my mom & i are having an argument right now about pnoy not talking to tsang when he called (during the hostage)

- okay. it's not horse shit but the fan. it could have exploded anytime if we haven't seen it -- i posted earlier that it smells like horse shit at home and i don't know where it's coming from

- in memory of lfo's vocalist, am now listening to i don't want to kiss you goodnight. i love this song

- "i'm your sister. it's my job to terrify you." - going the distance.
this is true with my sister. that's why i love her. she is supportive but she is also honest

- i want to visit a science museum

- it annoys me when people doesn't know how to say thank you. its just basic

- though i can's make you smile, i ain't gonna make you cry. - girl rock, epik high

- i know now my purpose in life while i have no job. to wake my brother up. i've been waking him up everyday. dunno know y i wake up rly early

All By Myself

... travelling. that's what i'd like to experience even just once.

i envy some friends who went out of town by themselves. i have plans of that kind for the longest time but it still has not happened due to different factors. and honestly i don't know how i'll do it.

yes, i've travelled to singapore all by myself but i won't consider it as being all by myself. why? i stayed with my friend (thank ljieu!) and i have lunch and dinner dates with different friends everyday (am really happy to see my friends. and thank you). trust me when i say that my singapore trip is just like a trip to makati. when asked what i did in singapore, well, it is to see my friends and visit them. literally. that's why i'm also glad that i made that trip alone. coz my schedule was already jampacked just meeting my friends. but it was fun. and meeting my friends made me travel from one end of singapore to another. thank you friends.

okay, back to the main topic. still, i want to explore a place on my own. i guess, next time i would travel alone i would not choose singapore. but that's the only place my mom would allow me to (if on my own). i think she'll approve of me visiting alone singapore than baguio or davao, etc. sigh...

Easily Influenced

last week, i bought nutella. the week before it's california maki twister. and why did i buy them? coz they're being posted by my friends in social networking sites, it got me craving for those thus buying them.

after buying the nutella, i realized how easily influenced i am with the statuses of my friends. or how i get envious easily? hahaha. i don't know why.

i remember before, some friends and i were talking about hotdogs. it really got me want to eat hotdogs, so i went out to go to ministop just to buy hotdog. the statuses also made me crave for quickly, mcdo breakfast, etc.

this just proves, i'm weak when it comes to food ;p

Living Independently

i think in other countries, people my age is living on their own. i'm sure some of them are looking for HUD apartments for rent. maybe they find it by browsing the internet.

but how do they pay it? maybe, by loan? or talking to those selling structured settlement for a better option?

honestly, i don't know. but what i do know is that if they are filipinos, most likely than not, they will be having pinoy 24 tv to ease the homesickness.

Link of the Moment: The Allergy

i don't smoke. never tried it. i have lots of friends who do. this is the only discipline that i have in my body, i won't smoke. hahaha.

when i was in college, and even after college, people thought i smoke. i guess coz of my friends, and i don't know.. i look like someone who does? anyway, i know it's hard for people to quit. i don't nag my friends to quit. but they know that i'm not into it and would prefer for them to stop.

i found this hilarious video, a campaign for the American Cancer Society. and as the video asks, what i your motivation? i guess, it's all about that. my sister quit smoking for vanity reasons, and she did it. i don't know what your motivation is, but i guess if you have one, you can achieve your goal. so for those who quit smoking, what was your motivation?

nonsense post

don't mind this.

an aging actor oh so furious

and i won't tell why

Are We Close?

i really appreciate it when people turn to me and ask me to pray for them coz they say that i am close to Papa God. but honestly, i find it funny at the same time and would like to tell them you're mistaken.

coz i also feel far from God and ask prayers from some friends telling them the same reason. hahaha.

but in reality, i know that we are all close to God. He is trying to close the distance from us in an equal manner, it's just that we are the ones who widens the gap.

---

okay, i don't know how to end this post. hahaha

Link of the Moment: Canon in D

i don't want to neglect my this site, but i don't know why can't i think of things to write. actually, i do. but when i start to open the site, it's gone.

so i got an idea. an idea from an acquaintance who asked me to share with her my favorite link for her bday, but what i did is for a month, i shared something new everyday. so that's what i do, i'll share a new link (almost) everyday. for those subscribed to my blog (i have a subscriber?!?!), sorry to flood you with posts. hehe. anyway, i honestly think i'll not be able to post something everyday. and i don't know how regular the post may be, so i'm just going to name it Link of the Moment. hehe. oh by the way, as early as now, i'm warning you that there will be a lot of kpop stuff. hahaha

for my first link...

i like Canon in D. i think it's the only classical music that i can listen to over and over again without getting sleepy. first time i heard it in the movie My Sassy Girl, i fell inlove with it easily. and there had been a time that i listened to it the whole day in different variations. haha. some friends also like it that they used it as their wedding march (argh! they beat me into it. hehe). i don't know how to play the piano, and definitely not the guitar (eventhough i had guitar lessons in the past), but i think it's not that easy playing it in guitar. that's why this video amazes me. and i think a lot of people also with 75million hits already. enjoy