Tuesday, February 08, 2011

My Number One Reader

i lost a reader last year. though he always denied that he reads my blog, i know he did. how? 1) he would ask me questions that i haven't mentioned nto him or anyone except my blog; 2) when i looked at the monitor screen one time, he tried to look at another window but i can see the minimized window below; 3) my blog's url is listed in his phone

so why was he reading my blog? either he is interested in my life, or he is trying to see if i have written something about him again. well, i can't blame him. i think more than half of the time, i have mentioned him in my entries. i think he is the one person i have mentioned most here. we even fought once because of something he has read in my blog that has really hurt him.

so as my honor to him, i will write once in a while about him. and i guess, i should add another tag/label that is about him. i would not write about him just because he is an avid reader of my blog (feeler! hahaha), but i guess that's my way to remind the world about him. i know our relationship was damaged before and was not restored back to it's original state but i don't think he should be forgotten. he had been my pillar for 20 years, and even afterwards (but not as much). and because of him, i have proven the saying: the more you hate, the more you love. because even if i hated him so much before, i still loved him so much that's why it was really painful. nope, he never apologized to me but forgiveness is still something i am trying to give him. yes, i cannot say i have truly forgiven him coz even after his death, there are still instances i would learn that would hurt me as his daughter, but one thing for sure, i love him. and i am thankful that he is my father.


Anonymous said...

That's actually a sweet entry Tin. I'm so sorry if I haven't been around here lately, but you always have me as a friend one way or another.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Wow, this post hit me like a rock. I thought you were just mentioning a reader. I never thought it was your papa. Whatever the score between the two of you, just remember that he is still your father and no parent would ever neglect to love his offspring. We have been blessed by the Lord with just a pair of parents- our mother and father and we owe our lives to them. Loving them is next to loving God. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.

TK said...

Dear Tin's Dad, Sir, whatever your faults were, and I'm sure there were many just like the rest of us, having a daughter like Tin surely made up for all your shortcomings.

Recquiescat In Pace.