Link of the Moment: Strangers Again

it's like most of my link of the moment posts are from wongfu productions.well, i love them. i love their videos.

anyway, the reason i like the video now is because i believe in what it says. it is true for most relationships. how two strangers fall in love and afterwards, become strangers again. sad but true. not only that but the stages mentioned are stages one relationship really goes through.

and i think a lot of people can really relate to it, because i was surprised to see it on the facebook walls of my friends. tumblr had snapshots of it, twitter timeline with lines from the video.

but i hope i won't experience this again. coz for my future relationship, after the comfortable/tolerance stage, instead of downhill, it would be marriage and lifetime happiness . :)

but right now.. i miss the feeling of kinikilig.. doing an uncontrollable smile.

When Is My Birthday?

i have a group of friends who i have known for more than 10 years already. actually, i think half of my life already. they are telling me that i am keeping my birthday a secret or i am being mysterious about it.

actually, i am not. it is just because i have known them for more than 10 years but they never asked for my birthday. they didn't notice that they never greeted me in a year for my birthday. and it was just recently that they became aware of my birthday.

that's why when they ask me now when my birthday is, i prefer not to answer. can you blame me?

i'm not mad. i just want to explain my side.

Online Happiness

have you read Train Man? it's a book based on a japanese forum where a geek asked help from his online friends in dating a girl.

i know there had been a lot of news where people meet their online acquaintances and bad things happen. i'm really thankful that i am so blessed with the online friends i have met. yes, i've met some of them in real life. and most of them had been my close friends. they had been angels.

i have said a number of times that internet had been my outlet. i'm the kind of person who doesn't like to trouble others (especially friends) about myself. when papa was sick and later on hospitalized, i didn't tell my friends. but i was thankful to twitter coz that's where i had expressed my feelings (this was during the time only 10% of my followers really know me).

not only that twitter and tumblr had been my company when i had to stay awake at night in the hospital for papa.

so why am i writing this. i just want to thank my online friends for everything. :)

God's Plans

as i've mentioned before here in my blog, 2009 had been a year of rejection. it really saddened me. and for a long time, i can't accept it. i always ask God, why. but then a few months ago, i've realized why. God was helping me with things, particularly for papa's death. coz if i did not get rejected that year, for sure i won't be able to resign and also i won't be there with papa during his last few days and maybe even during his last cough.

God knows what's best for me. He knows the perfect timing for everything. and i know that if it really for you, God will provide. or as the book The Alchemist said, the universe will conspire to help you.

I've learned a great lesson and that is rejection is sometimes the best answer. just have faith.

Wedding Bells

"My ultimate dream is to be a wife and mother, but something tells me I'll be a bachelorette forever."

That line is from my friend. Scary but I also feel that way. Yes, I am scared. I guess you can't blame me especially with my age. But I still have not lost hope.

Why have I not lost hope? Coz as mentioned in the line.. "my ultimate dream." Yes, it had been my ultimate dream. Not only now, but even when i was still a kid. I never dreamt of having a debut but i have always dreamed of a beautiful wedding. that is why i know that i would still get married. not today, not tomorrow, nor next month. but i know in my heart it will be in this lifetime.

MassKara Festival

i'm afraid of clowns. they're scary. also of people in masks. they're also scary, right? but there's one thing i want to experience despite my fears. it's to witness the MassKara Festival in Bacolod. so why this one when i'm afraid of masks? weird as it may sound but i'm not afraid of the those in masks that i see in pictures, magazines, etc. i even find them fascinating. i guess it's because they are colorful and the designs are good. and maybe by witnessing the festival in person, i can overcome my fear.

also, mark10 was assigned once to present bacolod in the xmas party. so the kids made their own masks. and if you've seen the masks that they made, you wouldn't think that it was made by kids. since then, the MassKara Festival held a special place in my heart and now i've wanted to experience it for real.

what's more, if i go to the festival, then that means i'll get to go to bacolod? what's wonderful in bacolod? the food! i've always seen in tv how good their food is, let me try it. and also to see the wonderful people on bacolod, friends and not.

So guys, experience MassKara Festival, Hermosa Festival and Lanzones Festivalthis October. AirPhil Express flies daily to BACOLOD, ZAMBOANGA, and CAGAYAN DE ORO from Cebu and Manila. Visit www.airphilexpress.com to book.

Sing Me Your Song Again..

i don't know what's with this week but i really miss papa so much this week. death is truly another thing than being separated. coz before, even if we don't talk, i know he was just there. that it will just be a phase. and i was right. but now, it's death. it's like it's over.

i have to admit, i still have not really accepted his death. when i pray for him on my own, most of the time my next lines would be.. "Lord, serious? he's really dead?" then i would think that maybe we killed him more having him cremated, coz it's like since he is cremated, he won't have a chance to rise again, incase it was a mistake that he died. and this is coming from me who saw him die. hehe.

and then i got to listen to Jose Mari Chan's Sing Me Your Song Again Daddy. which made me miss him more. and of course this made me cry. coz last yr (or was it two years ago?), meyms mentioned that song and i listened to it, and i already cried. and that was a time he was still alive and death is far from our minds. so what more now, that he is not here. that song is a special song. why? coz it was literally my song for him when i was still a kid. i think he knows it. so, it makes it sad for me.

for those who don't know the song, here it is..

I Want to Understand

before the year 2009 ended, i had a plan for the beginning of 2010. but as i mentioned before, 2009 was a year of rejection for me. that meant my plans for 2010 was not able to push thru. yes, i admit, it saddened me. and my sister was really affected (which touched me). i replaced that plan with something else. a first-time for me, something i enjoyed also. but still it was different. until now, i still can't understand why it happened. i still want to know why. why God chose a different plan. this year, when i hear that that plan of mine is happening to other people.. of course i'm happy for them but still my heart feels a little hurt. i'm not sure if i'm obvious but one time when someone announced it to me and my sister, my sister asked me afterwards if my heart stopped when i heard about it. fine, i admit. i am bitter. why won't i be? i wanted it so bad. and it was really disheartening since i did it honestly. yes, another reason why i was so bitter. and it's like it is happening to everyone except me, and i wanted it more than them. it was something i was planning for. i should not really plan. sigh

Link of the Moment: I Hear the Fish

i accidentally found this video and i've seen it a number of times already. but even until now, i can still feel the kid's crying. huhuhu. poor kid but he is so cute. i wonder if he eats fish now or did he turn vegetarian?

realizations

my father convinced me to study in uplb so that i would learn to be independent. after 4 years, i don't think i achieved what my father meant as independent.

but last january, for only a month, i think i got what he meant by independence. being in a very far away place, i have to do some work that i do not do at home. i think this was what papa meant.

in that one month time, i have realized a lot. from what i cannot live without (someone should do my laundry, hehe); the importance of milk to my skin (also how i can slim down coz i don't drink milk); why i still don't have any kids (though my kids would really be different from my "daughters" that's for sure); my relationship with my family esp my father; how city-girl i am; how spoiled i am; and a lot more.

yes, i've learned all that about myself for only a month. i wonder what lessons will the rest of the year bring me

I Am Old?!

mark10 kids are really young (umm.. kids?), and even if they are really really young, i never felt old with them. actually, i don't feel old until last month an essay about a barbershop was written by jason (already a middleschool student and not from mark10). here's our conversation:

tin: it was opened 1990? then it's not old
jason: it is old
tin: it's 1990! it's not old!
jason: yes, it is. it was opened before i was born.
tin: when were you born?
jason: 1996
(realization hit me: "oh my! i am old." i dont' know why, but still i asked..)
jason: umm.. older
obama (interrupting): grandmother

note: they both know my real age. i know i'm not old yet to be a grandmother, but still after this conversation, i really felt old.

My Number One Reader

i lost a reader last year. though he always denied that he reads my blog, i know he did. how? 1) he would ask me questions that i haven't mentioned nto him or anyone except my blog; 2) when i looked at the monitor screen one time, he tried to look at another window but i can see the minimized window below; 3) my blog's url is listed in his phone

so why was he reading my blog? either he is interested in my life, or he is trying to see if i have written something about him again. well, i can't blame him. i think more than half of the time, i have mentioned him in my entries. i think he is the one person i have mentioned most here. we even fought once because of something he has read in my blog that has really hurt him.

so as my honor to him, i will write once in a while about him. and i guess, i should add another tag/label that is about him. i would not write about him just because he is an avid reader of my blog (feeler! hahaha), but i guess that's my way to remind the world about him. i know our relationship was damaged before and was not restored back to it's original state but i don't think he should be forgotten. he had been my pillar for 20 years, and even afterwards (but not as much). and because of him, i have proven the saying: the more you hate, the more you love. because even if i hated him so much before, i still loved him so much that's why it was really painful. nope, he never apologized to me but forgiveness is still something i am trying to give him. yes, i cannot say i have truly forgiven him coz even after his death, there are still instances i would learn that would hurt me as his daughter, but one thing for sure, i love him. and i am thankful that he is my father.