Blessed

the month of september had not been the greatest month for me. it's like i'm always down and worrying about a lot of things. i really made the wakeboarding plans pushed thru coz i needed it. i needed to relax. as i told my wakeboard buddies, i know that wakeboarding would really give me bodyaches and i needed that to drown all my spiritual, emotional and whatever pain i'm feeling. the week after the wakeboarding trip had really been painful. especiall with my bodyaches. every move i make is OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! and when my body is already healing, i got a spiritual/emotional blow. yup, even spiritual.. since i got really depressed, i was questioning God. and really felt that i'm a bad person and didn't deserve blessings.

funny coz a week before even if i'm feeling down the pits, i still felt blessed. even if there are problems, i know i am still blessed. then saturday came. and after the realizations, i really felt peace. promise! this week, whatever came my way, i felt calm. some people thought i was depressed coz of my text messages from the book of pareng Paulo but honestly, what the book said was what i was feeling last week (specifically friday). and i just wanted to share it even if it's delayed. hehehe.

and this week, i've realized that for a really proud person as i am, God is still blessing me. He is humbling me. yes, i am a very proud person. that is one of my favorite sin to commit.. pride. maybe because i love to eat pride chicken when i was a kid. yuck! corny! hehehe.

okay, back to my post. well, i'll just repeat and emphasize that i am a proud person. so when i have problems or i feel down or i need help, i don't try to show it. i always show that i'm strong. but God still gave me people who i don't know if they saw past my pride but they sure have been used by God to help me. but as i said before, God's message for me is to wait. i thought before that God sent me these people because He's granting me something already. but no! i think this is His way of giving me an opportunity to be patient. labo ba? honestly, malabo. hahaha. but i know that after these opportunities would be something far better for me. His perfect plan for me.

these are the people i want to thank. they have helped me in one aspect of my life. and i won't mention what. i'm proud, remember? hehehe.

Thanks to:
Jopay - for the instant text, ym and email messages. for always remembering me
Emcee - you're right. i am not asking anyone for help. and yet you still lent a helping hand. thanks for believing in me
Dino - i'm really glad we had that phone conversation when you asked that the out of town schedule be moved
Gani - namiss kita bigla ha. magsideline ka nga. kme clients mo.
Pie - kahit na tuliro utak mo that time, you still remembered me. and remembered to mention it to me.
Kate - this thank you should have been said a long time ago pa. hehehe
Maca - you always remember me
Son - thanks for always informing me and sending me emails
Ate Dada - i'm really thankful nakakasabay and nakakasalubong kita sa mrt. hehehehe
Tina Guzman - seeing you in the wedding shower slightly changed my life. naks! hahaha
Jay - actually, you're a blessing for other people, for my friends. but through me coz for my friends. but still even if it's for other people, not me.. you still are a blessing,
Mam Irene - the text message and phonecall that changed my life. with this list, most unexpected kayo. thank you so much for believing in me. though i left you and gay hanging before, you still had been nice to me. thank you!

i'm sure some of those in my list do not know what i'm thankful for. but for those who realize what it is for.. quiet na lang kayo. hehehe. thank you! :)

skiing

honestly, my ultimate dream for a water adventure besides scuba diving is to experience jetski. when i was still a kid, i would really want to ride a jetski. but the problem is it is expensive, for just a few minutes it would cost you much. that is why i was so happy to have experienced water skiing or wakeboarding. hehehe. coz it may not be a jetski, but i am getting there. that's the advantage of living in the Philippines. a lot of beaches and water sports to try.

but the disadvantage? there is no snow. i could not experience snowfights, snowman and the luxury skiing holidays. this makes me dream of going to Meribel, France and St. Anton, Austria to experience the luxury ski chalets in St Anton. that would be a wish for me. not only the skiing experience but first to be able to go to those places. a place where there is snow. and stay there for a year to be able to experience changes in season as Renny always brag about. hehehehe. because here in the Philippines, there are only two seasons, summer and rainy seasons. and be able to ski. for i have always associated skiing with luxury and for rich people. and even for just once in my life, i would like to experience that, wouldn't you?

oh well... after writing about sleeping and dreaming, this is one dream that i would make sure would come true.

sleep

i love to sleep. it is something that i do not have any difficulty doing. i can sleep anywhere and even if it's noisy and with lights on. even while sitting. i think if i would like to, i can sleep standing up. just like my dad. but of course what makes me sleep more comfortably is having a nice bed. of course the bed should have a very comfortable bedding. a big bed with lots of pillows that would want me to just stay in bed. i have always loved pillows. ever since i was a kid, my bed should have lots of pillows. even if the pillows would occupy 95% of the bed, it would be okay with me.

also for me, a bed with lots of pillow would make a bedroom enchanting. yes, i am really using the word enchanting for it. hehehe. well, it really is enchanting when you see a bed. coz when you lie down and get to sleep, you go to far away places, beautiful and not, through your dreams. dreams that you imagine and dreams from your unconscious mind.

lately, i am having weird dreams. not really that weird but i can remember my dreams and my dreams are related to whatever is happening in my life. i think my dreams now are saying how truly i feel even if i try to hide it.

Just Wait and See

it had been a remarkable saturday for me. i was supposed to go to divisoria with officemates but since i'll just have to meet them there, i did not push through anymore. so i just attended mark10 instead and had a film showing on old testament Bible stories. and i'm really thankful i attended mark10. then i saw two of my highschool bestfriends that night.. jay and ljieu. i miss rlyn tuloy.

though i have heard the story of Joseph the Dreamer a million times, it still touched my heart when i watched the cartoons. what really inspired me were two parts. when the prison guard was telling the pharaoh about Joseph. that even if his brothers wanted to kill him and sold him, he never cursed God. and next is when his brothers apologized to him in selling him. and Joseph just answered that it was God's plan. for if it did not happen, they will die coz of the famine.

i don't curse God but i always question Him when things i pray for do not happen. and even if Joseph was a really good and faithful man to God, he was still imprisoned but because of that he became a pharaoh. and as i told jay later that night, it made me realize that maybe that's what God is doing to me. coz in the future i'll be the leader of the world. bwahahaha.

after mark10, i met up with jay. told her about a little disappointment. and she said that God has a greater plan for me. my mom also said that, and i know everyone will say that and i just want to hear God say me to me right now what is His plan. coz i hate to wait. i am not patient. and i'm telling God i'm not praying for patience so don't give me the opportunity to be patient. then jay said.. "isn't it frustrating when everyone around you is moving and yet God is asking you to be still.." exactly! that's exactly what i'm feeling right now! as in!

of course we discussed the cartoons that i've seen that afternoon. and she said what struck her from the story of joseph is that for 10 years, he was in a cell. God made him wait in a cell. and he excelled in a cell. so when we feel that we are in a garbage bin, let's try to be the best trash there is.

yesterday, God's message had been loud and clear. Wait.. Be still... i guess He's really preparing me for something great. and i'll just be the best trash. hehehe. i am praying that i'll not be impatient and try to jeopardize His plans for me. hehehe.
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much later that night. actually, early morning already. 1am na kaya. i met up with ljieu. yup, even if i'm super sleepy already, i still met kathreen. coz it might be years before i'll see her again. ljieu had known me since first year highschool so she knew me before a lot of people. anyway, we've talked about my bedroom, and my mom's rule on no eating in bedrooms. and that there are lots of ants on my bed and i don't know why since food is not allowed in the room. i just said: "i guess i'm just really sweet that's why there are ants." and with a shocked face she said, "tin? ikaw sweet?" i said yup. people do change. if others would ask me if i've changed.. i'll say "yes. now i'm sweet." hahaha. my mom's description for me before would be.. "hindi siya malambing." now, i can say i am. bakit ba? gusto ko sabihin na malambing na ako eh. hahahaha.

I Fell in Love

Yup! i fell in love last weekend. i fell in love with wakeboarding. actually, with kneeboarding pa lang pala. hehehe. but for me it's still wakeboarding. hehe.

my harper friends prefer surfing more, but for me it's really wakeboarding. as denise puts it, wakeboarding is for the less patient. and that's me! hahaha. also with surfing you should know how to balance. and i'm really not good in that part. and i don't get much bruises in wakeboarding.. it's just my muscles. unlike in surfing where the surfboard will always hit you. i have low tolerance with pain, remember? hehehe.

i don't know. i just fell in love with wakeboarding. even if i was not able to finish one round. as in i want to experience it again. aside from scuba diving, wakeboarding is now included in my what to repeat water adventure list. and it's a sport i want to master. maybe, what made me more like it is that i was able to make my first turn the next day when hours ago, i was being problematic coz i thought i won't be able to hold the bar for long.

see! i literally fell! hehehe

i guess, i won't be that inlove with wakeboarding if not for my friends and the people in Lago de Oro where we stayed and learned the sport. the people in the resort are really nice. though they called me sir twice, i still find them nice. the place says a quiet neighborhood. it's true! i just don't know if it's what our neighboring rooms will say. hehehe.

it was really a fun weekend. even if my muscle joints really hurt even up to this day, the weekend really made me relax. it made me de-stress. (is there such a word? hehehe). for a very stressful week/month, it is a great way to end it. thank you wakieboardies for the very fun weekend. especially to gabe who really made us all relax and put a smile on our faces. hehehe.

special message to denise: nonsense excuse mo. why? coz i was in a similar situation as you are. and still it didn't stop me from trying and enjoying.

*thanks to gabe for my wakeboarding pictures.

Wordsy Words

"What is she revenging for?"

is there something wrong with the statement? when i asked my officemates if it's the right grammar, they told me.. "is there such a word as revenging?" and i said yes. it's the act of revenge. so i checked google and a dictionary, and there's such a word. hehehe. still they insist that there isn't. until an officemate said: "there's such a word.. it's a tin-tin word."

there was also this one time when i replied to a text with a new word. and an older officemate asked if it's what the youth today uses.. a younger officemate just replied.. "no, tin-tin just invented that word." hehehe.

i love to invent words. hehehe. by placing suffixes such as -ish, -er, -ness, -ly, and all other suffixes. hahaha. most of the words i've invented are not planned.. such as the care of-care of. situation called for it. and also the words i invent, you can easily know the meaning. but some words i invented in purpose. like badder. promise! it's badder.. coz i was between bad and worse, so it's badder. hehehe. why do i invent words? just for fun. i don't know.. it's make it more fun to say these words. hehehe. unlike if i just use an ordinary word. hahaha. honestly, i am not conscious about it until someone will pinpoint or will use these words. hahaha.

**re revenging. i know i should have used avenging instead. but i prefer revenging.. it's like i will demand you in court. hehehe.
(note: tagalog word of sue is demanda, so some thought that the english term for demanda is demand)

SGG

tin-tin, ghalya, zettes trina, marj, nice

the SGG! my first barkada in college. i'm sure people who have known me in my latter years in college do not know this. hehe. it's because, two of them have left the country by that time already and the other three... well, we just go out once in a while.

i miss these girls. they made my first years in college really fun. when other freshmen students were crying coz they feel homesick, we're out partying. even if there are exams, we would still go out at night. and we would still have good grades. except for ghalya and i and math17. hehe.

i haven't seen these girls for ages. except for zettes and marj, who are here in the philippines for some weeks. the other three are now in the US. i remember when trina just left the country, she would text me saying.. the SGG Cali Chapter had a party the night before.

we have different personalities (trust me on this), yet we still became friends, had fun and shared good memories with each other.

we don't see each other anymore.. but we are still friends. still communicating once in a while. sharing pictures, exchanging letters and text messages. the Cali girls even shared an apartment at one point or are neighbors. and i hope we'll have a grand reunion on december for marj's wedding.

our lives now may be entirely different from our freshmen days, with work, kids, and everything, but we still know how to have fun and how it is to party!


a little game... if you would be able to guess the meaning of SGG, you will have a prize :)

Moving On is Hard to Do

some friends and i were talking and the topic became breaking-up. and here's what we realize why it is hard to move on...

when you are still together, of course there are happy moments. but of course there are sad and bad moments. especially right before the break-up. and when you break-up... all you could think of are the happy moments. this is the perfect time for you to think about all the bad memories. but all you could think of are the good ones. so now, you are having a hard time to move on. now, all you do is cry asking yourself why and what happened coz everything is perfect. but you don't realize it's not. there are also times it's not. that it's bad. but you forget about it. you forget all the hurts you've experienced.

i'm going to be mean. but why is it that the things we have to remember in the moving on stage are the good memories? can't it be the bad ones so that we'll have an easier time to move on? wala lang...

Money Talks

I’m so happy yesterday! I finally found a dvd copy of Moulin Rouge. And it’s an original copy! So before sleeping, I watched it. Actually, I just watched those with the singing parts. That is how much I love to sing.

Anyway, there was this singing dialogue between Satine and Christian where he says that all we need is love, and yet Satine would answer back that it is money. So, what do we really need? Since I do not have a lovelife, I think it is money for me now. Hahahaha. Finding money is easier than finding a boyfriend. So I am really going with money now. Hehehe.

So since I need to make money, I signed up to payperpost. Yup. I’m really grabbing almost every blog money-making thing. That’s how hard life is. Actually, carey introduced me to this for the longest time already, but it is only now that I’m really into this. Hehehe. Coz before, I do not want to infect my blog with money making matters, but now times call for it. And also, I got inspired with how carey does it. It is not obvious that she is writing an ad. Carey, you’re really my idol with this stuff. And you’ll forever be associated with it already. Hahaha. So now I am starting to hear money talks. Is this bad?