realizations

my father convinced me to study in uplb so that i would learn to be independent. after 4 years, i don't think i achieved what my father meant as independent.

but last january, for only a month, i think i got what he meant by independence. being in a very far away place, i have to do some work that i do not do at home. i think this was what papa meant.

in that one month time, i have realized a lot. from what i cannot live without (someone should do my laundry, hehe); the importance of milk to my skin (also how i can slim down coz i don't drink milk); why i still don't have any kids (though my kids would really be different from my "daughters" that's for sure); my relationship with my family esp my father; how city-girl i am; how spoiled i am; and a lot more.

yes, i've learned all that about myself for only a month. i wonder what lessons will the rest of the year bring me

I Am Old?!

mark10 kids are really young (umm.. kids?), and even if they are really really young, i never felt old with them. actually, i don't feel old until last month an essay about a barbershop was written by jason (already a middleschool student and not from mark10). here's our conversation:

tin: it was opened 1990? then it's not old
jason: it is old
tin: it's 1990! it's not old!
jason: yes, it is. it was opened before i was born.
tin: when were you born?
jason: 1996
(realization hit me: "oh my! i am old." i dont' know why, but still i asked..)
jason: umm.. older
obama (interrupting): grandmother

note: they both know my real age. i know i'm not old yet to be a grandmother, but still after this conversation, i really felt old.

My Number One Reader

i lost a reader last year. though he always denied that he reads my blog, i know he did. how? 1) he would ask me questions that i haven't mentioned nto him or anyone except my blog; 2) when i looked at the monitor screen one time, he tried to look at another window but i can see the minimized window below; 3) my blog's url is listed in his phone

so why was he reading my blog? either he is interested in my life, or he is trying to see if i have written something about him again. well, i can't blame him. i think more than half of the time, i have mentioned him in my entries. i think he is the one person i have mentioned most here. we even fought once because of something he has read in my blog that has really hurt him.

so as my honor to him, i will write once in a while about him. and i guess, i should add another tag/label that is about him. i would not write about him just because he is an avid reader of my blog (feeler! hahaha), but i guess that's my way to remind the world about him. i know our relationship was damaged before and was not restored back to it's original state but i don't think he should be forgotten. he had been my pillar for 20 years, and even afterwards (but not as much). and because of him, i have proven the saying: the more you hate, the more you love. because even if i hated him so much before, i still loved him so much that's why it was really painful. nope, he never apologized to me but forgiveness is still something i am trying to give him. yes, i cannot say i have truly forgiven him coz even after his death, there are still instances i would learn that would hurt me as his daughter, but one thing for sure, i love him. and i am thankful that he is my father.