i'm proud of myself

it all started when the monitor went black. i thought i shut it down accidentally or i just forgot i did. but when i opened the computer an hour after, there's this sound and i can't see anything. since i'm really experimental, i tried to see if all cables are attached securely. but there's this oine that i removed to attach again. but when i removed it, the socket (for the lack of term), fell inside the cpu. as in i was shocked.

really not knowing what to do anymore and super worried, i texted my sister and brother to inform them and for them to call their dad for the computer to be fixed. my sister just gave me the number of the repairman. i called him and i cannot reach him. i just texted the gf of my officemate to ask help from his bf. they called me up. and my officemate is really busy with playing dota, so he can't go to our house and he told me that i can do it. he asked me if i have a screwdriver and if i play family computer when i was still younger. i said yes to both. then he said, i'll do fine.

so i opened the computer. attached the videocard.. and viola! i fixed it! i'm sooooo proud! hahahaha. sorry ha. i'm really proud coz i did it and i was able to save money for something that is so easy to do pala. yabang! hahahaha.

ann and jac, what gift would you like to receive? i'll give you a gift talaga. jac, buti na lang talaga adik ka sa laro. hahaha :)

celebrity friends

one time my mom and i were watching the buzz and my mom commented that am i not glad that i'm not a celebrity or else everyone would know my whole story and would not have any privacy. i don't have to be a celebrity to make my life an open-book. even before blogging, my life is an open-book. what you see is really what you get. i don't think i have anything to keep.

and also i have celebrity friends. well, not really celebrities. but isn't it when you want to be updated with stories of your favorite celebrities, you go to their website or others' website and read their story? well, same thing with my friends. i go to their webistes/blogs/multiply and read their stories. before, it's only friendster and you'll just check the profile if in a relationship or not and look if the picture of your friend is with someone. but i don't check my friendster that much anymore and i don't get to talk to some friends that much. but thanks to multiply and their blogs, i get to know their stories. or some other friend would feature them. it's because of multiply that i've learned that she has a bf now, that they've broken up, that he's now married, etc etc. so aren't they celebrities? coz i've go to read about them online?

honestly, i've got nothing to write. just to have something on my blog. hehe :)

father's day post

the other day my master fitness (the term! hahaha) asked me why i want to slim down.. the main reason.. and i'm giving him all the reasons.. he doesn't buy it. then we went to pleasing people.. told him i'm not pleasing anyone in particular. basta the society. then he mentioned something, and i like reacted sobra. told him the story when my dad said that my ex's current gf is more beautiful than i am because she's smaller than me. and i was like there's a big difference between beauty and sexiness. then master fitness reacted like he got it na. i was trying to please my dad saw. i was like.. what?!?! no, i don't!

then yesterday, i remembered something.. when i was writing my sharing and read it for the first time for the panel.. the reaction of the adults are the same.. i don't see in your sharing how your dad loves you but how you seek acceptance from your dad. my reaction then: "huh? no. he really loved me"

but with my present situation now.. i'm mad again with my dad. actually, i hate him more. it's like they were right. all my life i sought acceptance from my dad. the reason.. coz i never felt that he's really a father. yes, when we were kids he would buy us things, treat us out on weekends, but that's just it. when you need a father, he's not there. i got mad at my dad only last tuesday. and as i told my sister the story, i told her that somehow before we talked i slightly know what would by my dad's reaction to the story but still it was entirely different when i hear him blaming of being oversensitive pa. i admit i'm being too sensitive on things, but i'm sure any girl who was told that would get mad. mabait pa ako at hindi ko sinampal yung nagsabi and i just cried. and i told my sister, he's not really a father. not only because of his reaction last tuesday but also to my sister dati when she got holdapped in a cab.

why are there really assholes?

*i'm sorry for the other fathers out there who deserve to be called a father.. i'm sorry coz this is my father's day post

Randomness

In my last post, I said that I am a badder person and that I miss God. honestly, i was like tampo with Him. but even with all the drama moments with God, He still has been good to me and my family. how? my brother was granted a scholarship. 75%!!! saya! hahaha. and since la salle required that the student be enrolled first before the scholarship will be known, we discovered that we have a refund pa! san ka pa? hehe. it's just P600.00. but the good thing is that for the first time in my brother's 13-year stay in lsgh, it's just now that he is fully paid before the classes start. saya! coz no more worries and problems in the middle of the schoolyear for the payment of the tuition fee. ang saya diba? heehehe.

Finally! i got my diploma. after 5 years? hahaha. i've finished college, summer of 2001, and marched in 2002. and got my diploma only yesterday! hahaha. as my friend who got it told me, she was asked why only now. she even has to make a story that i'm out of the country kse. hehehe.

The other night, i was with some econsoc people. and a question was asked.. what is one thing that you would like to do/accomplish? i was the last to answer. my friend answered to be a UN volunteer or something like that. something like Julia Campbell. and i answered that i just want to travel alone. to go and stay in a place i'm not really familiar with on my own. i've been wanting this for so long but i'm scared. anyway, my friend's answer got me thinking till yesterday. years ago, it's one ultimate dream for me.. to be a UN volunteer or something like that. basta to really make a big difference in this world. but then why when my friend answered that.. i didn't say: "Me too!!" i was just like okay. then it hit me.. yes, i wanted to be one before. but now.. i really did not care if i make a big difference in the world. i want to make a big difference in the life of someone i know, people who are close to me.. friends and family. it's like 'm feeling that my family and friends need me more than other people. i can't explain it clearly but it's like i should help the people around me and by doing so, i'm also making a big difference to the world. did you get it? labo ko talaga! hehehe.

anyway, how about you? what is the one thing you want to do/accomplish?

Just A Quick Note

i feel detached from the world now. why? i don't know. i just do. and i think i'm a badder person. i really chose the word badder and not worse. coz i don't think i'm a worse person but just a badder person. i feel worse but i'm not a worse person. get? and this post is a note for everyone. group of people who had been part of my life...

Amapalaya Club - even if i met you guys only this year, i'm so thankful i did. even if i don't get to talk to you guys often.. i'm just glad you're there. and i really appreciate it when you text me khet nonsense na kung ano lang nangyayari sa inyo. at ang mga kabaliwan ni ate mei and meyms sa text, i really appreciate it. sesh 3 na!

BLD Singles - i haven't been able to attend any SE Weekends this summer. ang sad lang. i didn't make any plans for those weekends so that i would be able to attend, but still.. di ako nakapunta. i miss the ministry. my se classmates, the praise ministry (feeling praise ako ha. hehe), and everyone. but it's like i don't want to attend anymore if i'm alone. lalo na if i'll see kuya jo or kuya alfred.. basta parang takot ako sa kanila ngayon. hehehe. i just hope i'll be able to spend time with you guys again.

BLD Youth - i'm really glad for LSS. as for every LSS, i gain new friends. pero syempre, i also miss the old youth. i miss my old friends, friends that i talked to sooo often before. and now, just forwarded messages or none at all. or i am just updated in the multiply. i'm really thankful for multiply. i just miss talking to you guys. i'm really glad for the showers and the wedding that happened early this year, coz it had been a reunion with you. miss ko lang talaga kayo. as in!

Blogsy Friends - i'm loving this name. hehe. thanks carey. i just want to say thank you for always visiting my blog. i know i don't get to visit your blog often now. laziness factor. but still, you visit my blog. even just dropping by to say hi even if i don't have any updates. thank you for keeping the witty comments coming. i really love reading the comments. it makes my day. thanks!

Byutipulgerls - i'm really sorry girls for disappointing you when i was not able to go with you to visit weng. honestly, i feel guilty. coz i know even if my mom told me not to go, as maje said, pwede ko naman hindi sundin. but that time, i just want to follow her. coz i was not feeling good that day. after crying the whole night.. sobrang babaw ng pag-iyak. sobrang babaw ng takot. pero ayoko talaga nang nawawala especially sa magulong lugar. basta girls, i really am sorry...

Econsoc - i miss you guys. i haven't seen you for the longest time. i thought i'll be back in circulation coz punta nga ako dapat 1st day of june. but no! bad trip talaga ang pag-halfday ko last wednesday. nakakasira ng plano. coz i really miss you guys. i miss college and i miss elbi days. sana matuloy talaga ang cagayan summer getaway in august.

Harpers - i'm really thankful for you guys. coz now i found new travel partners. kala mo naman, dami na natin napuntahan. hehehe. basta till the next spontaneous trip or gimik. nood tayo ng surf's up. when's the manila trip? and lastly, palawan friendster party ha.

Household - i miss you girls. kse kayo ang stress reliever ko here in the office. and wala na kayo. i know i have a new household. pero iba pa din kayo. and di ako nakakaattend ng household na bago. kse lunchtime and after lunch. mahirap dumaan. super busy pa ngayon. ate richie, pagbalik mo.. let's just meet up. bisitahin natin si ann! hehehe

Mark 10 - the only ministry that i attend to. hehe. i'm so thankful for Mark10. dream come true and it's my remaining connection to BLD. and i love the kids. khet makulit kayo, love ko kayo. and feeling ko.. kayo ang makakapagpapayat saken sa sobrang pagod. hehe.

Officemates - saturday overtime! i know you'll miss me that's why i was included sa mga magoovertime khet na di naman dapat. haaay... but even if i see you my dear officemates everyday, i also miss you. it's like i haven't talked to you for some time. have not gone out in gimiks with you. promise! i really feel i'm far from you even if i see you people everyday. maybe because we're all busy now. as in really busy. and i just want to thank you guys for everything, for trusting me and for considering me your friend. naks! and to the guys, thank you coz kayo lagi ko kasama ngayon. thank you for bearing with my laziness and my kaartehan. you know what? i just realized.. even if you treat me as literally one of the boys most of the time, you still treat me as a princess. naks!

Racho Family - i'm spending more time with you my immediate family now. and i really thank God for giving me you guys as my family. kahit ganyan si Papa, buti na lang Racho siya. hahaha. i'm really proud to be a Racho. and i hope we'll have our reunion again on october. balik tayo tamblot ha!

16th Ave. Peeps - i miss you guys. haaay... sa ibang lugar na 16th ave. nyo ngayon eh. i hope we'll have a reunion also. i just miss my childhood days. and toni (naks!), nakita ko si mark. yun lang. nakita ko lang. hahaha :)

God - i really miss You. i talk to You every morning, night, every chance i get, but still i miss You. and i think You know what i mean. thank You so much Lord coz even if i'm being too demanding, You still are there for me. and a lot of people has judged me on what my relatioship with you is, but You don't care. You still love me. thank You. and thank You for giving me these people. the people i've mentioned above. coz they really make my life worth living.and Lord, i just miss You. i want to spend quality time again in the Blessed Sacrament, but until now, i haven't done it yet. i am sorry. i love You Lord.