DVD Marathon

for the holy week, my family just stayed at home and had a DVD marathon. and in most of the movies we've watched, made me realize some things.

If Only


the story is about a couple and the guy is not really sweet to his girlfriend and not really vocal with the way he feels. then one day, his gf died and the next day, his gf was alive again. as if everything was just a nightmare.

it made me realize that even if my ex would have a new gf and would forget about me, it will be okay, as long as my ex won't die.

Rent


"Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with 1,000 kisses... I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love."

when i heard the song, i said to myself: "Hey! that's the song of ace for me before." hehehe. something we can't also buy is our life. our lives are just lent out to us by God. and we can show our appreciation to Him by taking care of our lives.

The Godfather Trilogy


i think it was a Godfather week for a lot of people. my family watched it, and i was surprised to learn that a number of my sister's friends watched it also for the weekend.

"Don't hate your enemies, it will cloud your judgment" - Godfather II

so true! that is why when i am pissed off with someone, i just go for a walk, or go to the Blessed Sacrament. especially if it's work-related. coz i don't want my work to be tainted by my anger.

and the favorite of my sister and her friends.. "This is the price you pay for the life you choose" - Al Pacino, Godfather III

i believe every action we do, there is a price we have to pay. every decision we make has its own consequences. and for the life i'm living now? i did not choose this. coz if i would have a choice, this would not be my choice. but i believe that the life i'm living now is the result of all the decisions i made in life. big or small.

Life-Verse

"The LORD called me from birth, from my mother’s womb he gave me my name. For now the LORD has spoken who formed me as his servant from the womb" - Isiah 49: 1,5

A verse from the first reading today. Also the introduction of my life-sharing. It really describes my life. And when i read it when i was searching for a verse to describe the beginning of my life.. this really struck me. I've realized that the reason i was born is really to serve God. I'm gonna share the first part of my life-sharing.

"I felt I was someone who was not supposed to be born but God had great plans for me. I was conceived before my parents married, with my own father even doubting at first, that I was his child. Mama told me that she would not have me aborted even if Papa did not marry her. She would rather give me away than have me aborted. It was a difficult pregnancy, and my mom nearly lost me many times. I was born a month earlier than scheduled and I was christened Kristine Marie, from Christ and Mary to whom my mom prayed to when she was pregnant."

well, as i said, i'll just share the first part. So, that's it. if you want to hear the rest, join the Singles Encounter on April 28-30. ayun! sabay plugging. hahaha ;p

Pilgrim's Theme

there had been a time when i don't know what to do with my life, where to go and what direction to take. then i was asked to share my lifestory in the Singles Encounter of the Las Piñas Young Adult Ministry. my sharing is designated for the talk Bearing and Imperfect Community. and the speaker for that talk shared a song. a song that really was for me and a song that made me feel the affirmation of God's love. i have been hearing this song before because i have a cd of this song, but it did not make an impact like it did during that SE. i just want to share you the lyrics of the song.

PILGRIM'S THEME
by: Bukas Palad

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things

REFRAIN 1:
I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

BRIDGE:
For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

REFRAIN 2:
Why don't we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we'll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things

*lyrics taken from this site

A Different Despedida Party

as i've said in my previous entry, i love to think. and the other day, while i was walking home, i thought of what i would do if for example the doctor will tell me that i only have just a month or two to live. of course i will go to confession.. a very serious confession. telling all my sins, and no holds barred. honestly, now when i go to a confession, i still hesitate to tell some. even if i don't know the priest, i still feel embarassed.

then i would hold despedida parties for myself. hehe. this party won't be a crying session but a real party. of course, still potluck. i have to save money for my wake and cremation. hehe. i would text/email/friendster all of my friends, close friends, not-so-close friends, acquaintances, supposedly future friends. everyone who would like to join. this could be a one day event or the party could be categorized on where i met them.

why a party? because i don't want to have pity on me and because i want my friends to remember until the end as the happy person. :D

Be Still...

i have known that this is what i should do since 2003 or 2004. i have lots of things on my mind that time and i read this in the reflection of Roy M. in the Didache, and the same reflection was forwarded to me by Jopay that morning. that's why i was really sure i must do that.

i always have a hard time being still or have a quiet mind. it's like i am not comfortable if i am not doing anything or not thinking of anything. honest! i have a hard time freeing my mind from everything. i love to do multi-tasking. i love to think, even nonsense stuff, as long as i am thinking of something. i can sleep even if it's noisy around me. as they always say, it's in silence when you'll hear God.

that's bothering me. i like listening to friends rather than telling them my problems, but when it comes to God, i'd rather talk than listen. that is why i always ask Him that i may hear His voice from my friends or a television show, just like what happened before. and i hope that i'll learn to listen to His voice.

college in elbi

was in los baños last weekedn to visit old friends and to unwind. i'm like that if i want to unwind, i just go to lb. was supposed to go home last saturday, but found a reason to stay. so i went home only yesterday. haaay... one day is not really enough for lb. by the way, thanks to the b1 girls who let me stay at their place. for those who went with me sa palaisdaan and cafe afterwards on a short notice. and to anelle and her family for the usual great hospitality you've shown me.

got this idea from plong. i'll write this in tagalog, so i'm sorry to those who can't understand tagalog. sorry also to my friends who have known me as the quiet and goody-good type. plastik! hahaha!

i just really miss college days.. wala kang problema kundi math 17 at 36. actually 17 talaga. may maga-ask kaya sayo sa concerts o kaya sa friday friday on a thursday. sabi nga ni plong, nakakamiss ang mga routinary activities. kung titingnan mo mejo boring dahil routine mo nga everyday, pero pag tiningnan mo ngayon, nakakamiss sobra. haay... lunes na naman. madaling araw na gising para khet traffic o mahuli ang dating ng bus, di pa rin late sa klase. buti na lang malapit lang ang bahay sa ali mall. sana may malamig na chocolait/fresh milk sa tony's dahil as usual kailangan ko na naman ng barya sa P100.00 para may pamasahe ako sa jeep. jeca, borrow nung notebook, may kwento ako sayo (fyi: yung notebook na yun ang sinusulatan namin ni jerrica habang klase para makapag-usap kme, na biglang nawala di namain alam kung nanakaw o ano). syet! ilang kuko na naman ata ang mamamatay saken ngayon pag akyat ng bundok. sana di matalo ang peak2 experience ko. haaay... saan naman kaya gimik ng sgg ngayon? isis na kagabi. malamang sa hostel lang. wish ko lang maitakas nila ako. oh no! 7 pala klase ko bukas. magdala na lang ako ng damit, para di na ako uuwi bukas para maligo. baka malate pa ako sa klase. okay, lunch time na. punta muna ako ng catalan. dun na lang ako kain. wala na din kse akong pera. haay... hanggang 7 pala klase ko mamaya. blocmates, san tyo dinner? huy riza! tumayo ka na jan. wala nang dadaan na sasakyan, di ka masasagasaan. buhatin nyo na si riza pauwi. syet! kelan kaya mangyayari na ako naman ang lasing at kayo ang mag-aalaga sa akin? gusto ko manood ng concert mamya kaya lang may exams sa math 17 bukas. ghalya, walang pumapasok sa utak ko. concert na lang tyo. bagsak na din naman tyo eh.

externals meeting pala mamaya. matext na nga ang members para kumpleto. saan kaya kme dinner mamaya? malamang micah's para may dessert. today is tuesday so lunch with petrina. makatambay nga muna mamaya before pumunta ng whitehouse. wow! ang labo talaga ng mga aplikante! mukha ba talaga akong mataray?!?! bket takot sila magreport sa akin?!?!?! malakas lang boses ko noh! oh no! may GA pala mamya. so saan tyo dinner? sa bago? okay selina's we go. huy! si mang boy nagfla-flashlight na. quiet daw. syet! sa bahay di ako naglilinis, tapos ngayon suka ng lasing! waaah!!! ganyan ko kamahal ang soc At ang org house. p**ah! pashot nga muna. di ko kaya kalat nyo eh. huy, usog ka konti. tabi tayo. cemplaNGan na naman. practice tomorrow ha. makinig sa coach. kulang ng players sa chess? fine! ako na maglalaro. may fund raising kme ngayon. bili naman kayo ng fishball, kikiam at si moy. hehehe. (promise! nag-human auction din ang externals). wednesday pala ngayon. dmeng tao sa Therese. di ako mass, daan na lang ako sa Adoration Chapel. huy! swimming tyo! punta tayo pansol. ako din may exams pa bukas noh? sama na lang tyo tapos habang swimming sila, aral tyo. 7am din kaya klase ko. hello?! eh magkakaklase kaya tyo. oh no! si mam garcia! tago nyo ko. shit! nakita na ako. sige na, magcoconsult na ako sa kanya. brods, gisingin nyo ko mamya ha, gagawa ako ng thesis. tulog na mga brods. ako na lang gising. please lang. wala sanang multo na magpakita. makaidlip muna ng 30minutes bago umuwi at maligo.

huh? wala naman ata schedule si ace. sige sabihin ko na magpapaturo ka sa kanya. ano kaya iluluto ko para sa mga magpapaturo. sa e6 ka na lang mag-cr kung di mo kaya dito sa e4. sa palaisdaan tyo dinner mamya. amp****! talagang kelangan i-mention ang e6 at si ace!

kamiss lang talaga ang elbi at ang college at ang econsoc syempre. tin sings..."kung maibabalik ko lang..." corny!!!! *sigh*