Depression Mode

i was really down last night and i don't know why. i felt that i am just nobody. not even an anybody, but really a nobody. even to my friends and family. well, except for ace. i went to the Blessed Sacrament yesterday before going home, and i did really cry. i just cried and cried and i have no idea why.

then i remembered when me and my sister were still kids. i was the goody type and she really is the naughty type. but i would feel that she is more-liked than i am. honestly, i wanted to have a change of attitude and be a bitch. but i can't do it. i would always remember the golden rule: "Don't do unto others what yuo don't want others to do unto you."

praying in the Blessed Sacrament made me realize why I appreciate ace so much. ace is the only person who appreciates me and who believes in me, more than i believe in myself. ace and i would forever remain just friends. with the insecurity problems and rejection moods i feel, would i ever find a guy who would appreciate me much.. who would make me feel special?