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Monday, February 28, 2011

realizations

my father convinced me to study in uplb so that i would learn to be independent. after 4 years, i don't think i achieved what my father meant as independent.

but last january, for only a month, i think i got what he meant by independence. being in a very far away place, i have to do some work that i do not do at home. i think this was what papa meant.

in that one month time, i have realized a lot. from what i cannot live without (someone should do my laundry, hehe); the importance of milk to my skin (also how i can slim down coz i don't drink milk); why i still don't have any kids (though my kids would really be different from my "daughters" that's for sure); my relationship with my family esp my father; how city-girl i am; how spoiled i am; and a lot more.

yes, i've learned all that about myself for only a month. i wonder what lessons will the rest of the year bring me

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Am Old?!

mark10 kids are really young (umm.. kids?), and even if they are really really young, i never felt old with them. actually, i don't feel old until last month an essay about a barbershop was written by jason (already a middleschool student and not from mark10). here's our conversation:

tin: it was opened 1990? then it's not old
jason: it is old
tin: it's 1990! it's not old!
jason: yes, it is. it was opened before i was born.
tin: when were you born?
jason: 1996
(realization hit me: "oh my! i am old." i dont' know why, but still i asked..)
jason: umm.. older
obama (interrupting): grandmother

note: they both know my real age. i know i'm not old yet to be a grandmother, but still after this conversation, i really felt old.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

My Number One Reader

i lost a reader last year. though he always denied that he reads my blog, i know he did. how? 1) he would ask me questions that i haven't mentioned nto him or anyone except my blog; 2) when i looked at the monitor screen one time, he tried to look at another window but i can see the minimized window below; 3) my blog's url is listed in his phone

so why was he reading my blog? either he is interested in my life, or he is trying to see if i have written something about him again. well, i can't blame him. i think more than half of the time, i have mentioned him in my entries. i think he is the one person i have mentioned most here. we even fought once because of something he has read in my blog that has really hurt him.

so as my honor to him, i will write once in a while about him. and i guess, i should add another tag/label that is about him. i would not write about him just because he is an avid reader of my blog (feeler! hahaha), but i guess that's my way to remind the world about him. i know our relationship was damaged before and was not restored back to it's original state but i don't think he should be forgotten. he had been my pillar for 20 years, and even afterwards (but not as much). and because of him, i have proven the saying: the more you hate, the more you love. because even if i hated him so much before, i still loved him so much that's why it was really painful. nope, he never apologized to me but forgiveness is still something i am trying to give him. yes, i cannot say i have truly forgiven him coz even after his death, there are still instances i would learn that would hurt me as his daughter, but one thing for sure, i love him. and i am thankful that he is my father.

Let's Go Dating

With my age, I am expected to get married already. The common questions asked at me are “Are you married? When are you getting married? Why are you not yet married?” My usual answer would be, I am already married but I did not invite you on my wedding day and the groom was also not invited. Or that I would get married the next day already.

Honestly, I am tired of those questions. Who would not get tired? Then after the questions, people would speculate that I am too choosy. Umm.. I have no choices? Then they would say that I should try dating. Okay.. who should I date? I have not closed my doors at dating. I know there are a lot of options where you can find potential dates, and there are online sites such as BeNaughty.com where you can find these dates or partners. And there are a lot of people who was successful in finding their husbands/wives via these online dating sites. So, I guess it is also valid, right? So have I tried it? No. Will I try it? Let us just wait and see. Because one thing I have realized last month is the reason why I have no kids yet (no, not because of medical reasons).